DragonFly
by Shinnah
Summary: She's assimilated herself easier than she thought she would have. (OC/SI FuryDragon)
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **She's assimilated herself easier than she thought she would have. Maybe that has to do with her thick skin? Now, quite literally.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing belongs to me except my OC/SI

**Warning: **Might be a bit of an AU, some meetings changed up, language, may contain spoilers

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

Azure light appeared as the relaxed lid slid half open, right eye glancing sideways to the smaller creature full of bright orange and small tiny hard spines currently attempting to disrupt her current state of zen by pawing innocently at her crossed paws.

Her eye narrowed. And closed right afterwards. _That's a universal No, no matter where one may be._

Few seconds of peaceful undisturbed silence, with the cool wind and the sounds of nature flowing past her only companion.

A growl left her throat unconsciously, feeling the same pawing, only now on her _other _side and more insistent accompanied by high pitched growls of their own.

_Little brats._

Alright, so she liked to play around with the younglings when she could, but every now and then she liked to have her _alone time, _where she could just _chill_, and _have her existential crisis in peace, for Heavens sake._

Left lid slid open all the way this time, clear turquoise freezing the baby dragon in its place with a piercing reproaching look, its siblings behind him following in domino affect.

"Where's your mother, little ones?" She rumbled softly, both eyes now open and staring at the more colorful dragons but still not raising her head because she was _not _going to leave her position. Do you know how _difficult _it is to persuade this giant of a dragon to let her rest on top of him? She had to degrade herself to dilated large puppy dog eyes and constantly croon like a pup, she was _still _surprised at how much he allowed her to get away with.

_Such a kind gentle beast._

The autumn colored baby dragon (because she, for the life of her, could _not _remember each of these species' names, nor did she attempt to), blinked large dilated amber hues at her, cooing softly right afterwards (as if he wasn't just pestering her with high pitched impatient growls alongside his siblings, the little shi-)

"Food."

She hummed quietly, her look softening at the multiple soft coos behind following after his barked word, god damn it those coos.

_But,_ she knew they could take care of themselves without her input. Their mother wasn't too far as well, undoubtedly getting food for them like he said, they just wanted a playmate at the moment; they saw her napping on top of _him, _again, decided to take their chance, _again. _

Fortunately for her, he wasn't having it, at least at _this _moment.

Huffing in slight amusement at how they scattered out to the open air in a sort of playful panic when the Alpha turned his massive head to shake them off, her paws gently grabbed down where she was laying behind long sturdy sharp ended spikes, not moving from her position, watching curiously the way they chattered to themselves in high pitched warbles and barks of innocent excitement, but all simultaneously turned their heads back where a familiar call was heard, flying off while bumping in to one another, _ah_ the call for food from their mother.

Regardless. Sleek tail curling more around her body, the tip tapped gently beside her where she was laying, silently thanking the giant being beneath her.

She was in the midst of her existential crisis mode, where she usually had it on top of the Gentle Beast, and _no one _was going to interrupt her.

"Shya!"

The ears that were slightly high in curiosity from before lowered instantly against her head at the unfortunately now familiar voice, unconsciously raising her head and straightening her neck out of slow rising tension.

And that _name. _That blasted _blasted _name.

"Shyaa!"

Oh my _god. _

Features twisted to what she was sure would be a human cringing expression full of pain and _whys _before successfully smoothing out to a near blank state if it weren't for her small pursing snout and lowered ears.

"I _know _you can hear me up there."

She turned her head to the opposite side from where the voice rang out, _hear what?_

The female's voice didn't shout for she knew the dragon could hear her from afar, chuckling quietly when the white Fury turned her head away directly to the opposite side in childish retaliation.

"Why must you still be this stubborn after all this time?" Turquoise and azure snapped to the dragon (CloudThunder? CloudHugger_? Something_ Cloud), who hovered near by with gentle flaps of his large wings, exasperation and hidden curiosity in tone though face staring at her calmly and not daring to land anywhere on the Gentle Beast.

"Answer me this, Cloud," she leisurely uncrossed her paws, crossing them again in the opposite directions, not leaving her gaze from his, "out of the thousands of _thousands _of dragons in this environment, why must the two legged one choose to continuously disturb the _one _dragon that wants absolutely _nothing _to do with her?" The ridges where her eyebrows would be if she was human raised in question, patiently waiting for the other to answer. Honestly, it wasn't the first, nor would it be the last time they would have this conversation. She was almost as exasperated as _him._ Could he not leave the topic be? No, of course not, he had to be _kind _(and nosy).

His head tilted almost cutely, and she _refused _to let the cooing sound within her to be voiced aloud.

"She is a curious one, ever since the beginning. You have not allowed your instincts to do what they will, to trust in her even with all she has learned from and _of _us. That makes you an exception, a curiosity. One she aims to understand more of." His voice smoothly explained, not once hesitating in his speech.

Her ears flickered upwards without her permission, eyes narrowing once more. "She can live without understanding _one _dragon."

He seemed to rumble lowly, not in threat but in thought.

"That is true."

It couldn't be _that _easy.

"However," She _knew _it, "Human curiosity has no bounds." And didn't _she _know that.

"We agree to disagree." Her pitch was low but tone with a set of finality. That's how it always was, when it came to this topic between them. Not that she usually talked with Cloud, but when she did it was either a normal conversation or this more recent frequent one of him trying to have her open up a bit more to the new edition of this environment and her attempting to ignore or misdirect his approach on the topic. Was it because they had formed a sort of bond, she briefly pondered.

She was solitary by nature and only _sometimes _conversed with a few when needed, otherwise you could find her usually either playing with younglings, or laying peacefully over the top of the Gentle Beast; (when she didn't disappear for unknown lengths of time in the far nature and creations surrounding them).

And now he wanted her to just nilly willy accept a random (she knew this human, she _remembered_ this human from her _Other_), new edition? It's not like shes the Alpha or some important powered being in this place. The Gentle Beast accepts the human, that's all that matters.

"Shya!"

Apparently not to the human.

Huffing out through her nostrils in exasperation, there was no chance anymore of lamenting her existential crisis in peace with the female human sniffing around her. And who told the human she could _name _her? She _had _a name!...Even if she couldn't remember it..

Grumbling to herself the slim form stood up calmly, shaking herself similar to a dog instead of the feline form she resembled and stretching her leathery wings out lazily, first her left wing to the side, then her right one to that side, then her neck upwards, shaking minutely as the tension uncoiled through her in seconds from top to bottom. Soft coos came out along with warm exhalation, head lowering and giving the pacific Cloud still watching a more warmer glance as she prepared herself for flight by extending her wings out, "Just, don't worry too much over this topic. What will be will be, and what won't be won't."

Gentle wind flowed, becoming a minute cool pad for her warmer body. His head tilted again, and this time since she was more relaxed she allowed the gentle purr to slip out, also tilting her head in response.

"Perhaps all it takes is time." His smooth baritone voice rumbled. Her ears on her head twitched slightly, a soft warble of apprehensiveness coming out of her.

_Perhaps. _

It's not as if she _hated _the human or anything like that. It was just... she reminded her too much of what she had lost, therefor she preferred to avoid the female to not feel the now distant pangs of her _Other. _

Adding to the fact that she doesn't feel as mournful as when she first arrived here makes her feel guilty that she's getting better at _not _feeling miserable over it. Therefor she's been trying to not forget her _Other _and has been religiously attempting to lament over her existence here and her _Other _life there. While at the same time she's explored and seen so many different places and the variety of dragons, she doesn't want to get too attached, to learn anything specifically from the _Here _because she feels like she's betraying her life and herself from the _Other._ It was a process of condition, wash, rinse, and repeat. She felt like a bundle of contradictions.

To be honest, she was a bit weary of it.

But she didn't want to just _forget _her other life and live this one happily, it wouldn't be fair to those who she loved and loved her in her _Other. _

She's stuck.

Without her notice, her ears had drooped down glumly, body drooping ever so slightly.

Clenching her eyes shut, she shook her head hard. _No no, it's not time for that mode anymore. _

Azure and turquoise surrounding thin oval black pupils appeared under curved ridges shaping cat like features, flying appendages snapping upright again and giving a swift beat downwards propelling her swiftly upwards and backwards right pass a curling his head to watch her Cloud.

Her head instantly felt lighter as she flowed gracefully in the air over the abundant floral greenery and other active dragons flying, purring quietly to herself in contentment. She's always felt the most freedom whenever she took to the sky.

Ignoring the voice yelling out _that _name from far behind, she slowed a bit when she saw up ahead in one of the foliage concaves familiar pairs of colorful baby dragons. Each of them with different colors of light blues, oranges, greens and yellows but with the same stature of build, she crooned softly as she flew down gently, landing gracefully without a sound while then nudging the biggest one, the light blue one with her snout as he tried to nudge her back in warm greeting, the others attempting to play with her tail, she moving it this way and that way avoiding their persistent paws with a glance behind her and an amused snort.

However, she only came to give a small greeting, not stay for too long.

Easily turning her lower body away from the pups with a twirl, she gave a short but warm headbutt to each of them, one by one reciprocating her actions (they were used to it after so long of her doing the same each time).

Giving a warm croon to them, her wings pressed against her body tightly and without faltering jumped over the mossy hard ledge, enjoying the fast wind all over her pushing against her as she went down and down and _down_.

Her pleased hums got lost within the harsh current, snapping her wings abruptly open and gliding smoothly towards a direction she knew all too well.

Sailing pass and avoiding oncoming larger and smaller dragons with dexterity that came with the time and practice she's spent here, ears perked up when she heard from far beyond her the humans low voice, whipping her head back in disbelief, she gave the amused looking Cloud a deadpanned bitch face.

This wasn't the first time the human has done this, and she couldn't help but admire the female a _Tiny_ bit for her courage to ride creatures larger than herself, and for her tenacious will.

Turning her head back forward, she huffed out through snout, snapping her wings harder against the wind, eyes narrowed as her speed upped and she zoomed easily away from the laughing out loud human.

On the other hand, she also wondered if she should thank the human. Considering that her speed ability went up thanks to her always running away and out flying them. (The two legged usually rode on Cloud more often than any other dragons around).

Easily losing them thanks to the agile sharp turns around giant green edges and swirls she did to outmaneuver Cloud, a chuckle escaped her.

Even _she _was getting a bit tired from the push and pull of this particular situation. _Hmm._

Spotting her small cove up ahead beneath a small waterfall from the above concave, she slowed her flying until she was in front of the waterfall, falling gently to the ground and beginning to walk ahead, letting herself be drenched in the rather refreshing clear water as she slipped beneath and then behind the waterfall to her _Now_ home. Shaking her head to clear the dripping water from atop her, maybe, just _Maybe, _next time she wouldn't run away.

Maybe.

And yes, she knew she was a tad more dramatic than her _Other _when the female human has been here for more than two years, but she couldn't help it.

It's not easy.

_How she Wishes it were harder for her to forget her Other. _

She needed to repent, yet the human made it harder. _And Cloud. _

Grumbling to herself, _Damn nosy dragon._


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: **A bit heavy at the beginning, lighter towards the end

**Disclaimer: **Nothing belongs to me except my OC/SI.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

**Between year 1/2**

* * *

This was spiritually soothing to her.

A soft almost non audible croon left her with each exhale, cuddling more onto the thick cooler spine she was leaning against.

She distantly heard a commotion and physically felt the Gentle Beast beneath her move, but all of it felt faraway from her grim melancholic thoughts non stop circling.

Her younger sisters who loved the franchise would have loved to be in her position. They wouldn't understand the gravity of the situation and would have explored more of this world with innocence in their actions. Their father would just silently enjoy his daughters having fun, their mother joining in every now and then because even she loved these type of movies. What really pierced her heart with a deep ache every single time was when she thought of the last time she saw them.

Vision full of crimson, she wanted to tell them not to worry, that she loved them and she would still be there watching over them, but her throat could only cough out bright red, she didn't know how much longer she could hold trying to breath through the blood clogging her throat and every other respiratory airway. Their terrified deep colored faces from yelling silent screams was the last she saw of them.

She felt so incredibly guilty each time she saw the beautiful views in front of her, the wondrous creatures (_Dragons!), _surrounding her, and her completely healthy body when the last she saw of them they were suffering so much due to _her, _and what if they're still anguishing and are mourning her yet she's in this peaceful place full of _Supposedly _fictional creatures enjoying her new life?

It made her physically _ill. _

At least by now she could eat a bit more than before, when the only thing she could stomach was water for the first weeks.

A keening noise of desolation softly left her throat as her thoughts circled back, slowly darkening with each minute.

The Gentle Beast beneath her froze momentarily, and she could feel when he huffed upwards, the familiar cold icy breath of his instantly cooling down her panicking slowly rising temperature. She cooed warmly against his spike, gently tapping the entire length of her velvety tail on him in heartfelt thanks.

The breath was refreshing each time, and she honestly didn't know _how _it always managed to cool her mind down and lull her thoughts to a respite.

But she was so _so _grateful for his actions.

Her subconscious cleared gradually, dark images distancing from her mind as she tried to focus back on the rare commotion going on directly some length in front of the Gentle Beast.

Slit oval pupils in the middle of azure and turquoise irises brightened in small curiosity, she took her time rising her upper body and head, flattened ears arising in attention as she now easily picked up the sounds of what was happening.

Dark warbles, curious growls, threatening barks, innocent chirps, all sorts of chaotic sounds filled the foliage covered ridge, a multiple of different colored dragons of various sizes surrounding just one, a rather large reddish shaded grey dragon right in the midst, both set of large wings on each sides protecting something to his chest, hiding it from all the others proclamations, his own growls joining in but in defensive tone instead.

Oh?

Her head tilted curiously, musing just what could be so important for such_ fuss?_

Filtering through the recognizable words underneath the combination of chaotic noise, her eyes widened slightly.

A _Human?_

Her head unconsciously tilted to the other side.

A human in this land of dragons place...

Her ears propped straight upwards, herself straightening up right without realizing it in a whiplash memory.

_Of course!_

The mother of the protagonist! _Huh. _Her head tilted again. She couldn't remember the females name, despite still remembering the main protagonists and his dragons name. (Even though those were the only two she remembered.)

Well...

She huffed to herself. That's enough for _them_, she didn't even remember her _own _name (_something that still irritated her as much as it made her want to cry in frustration.)_

Anyway, what were they wanting to do here? Her focus snapped back easily, eyeing down from where she was leaning against the Gentle Beasts thick spike on his upper right side of his head.

Perhaps they needed the Gentle Beasts permission for this situation? His judgment? Since he _is _the owner and creator of this land, plus a guidance to every dragon here. Her ears fluttered low in interest, mentally pondering what he'll do, narrowed pupils gazing in blank curiosity. She assumes that he'll allow for the human to stay, since that's what happened in the movies, but who knows really how _that _happened.

The deep baritone rumble beneath her resounded everywhere, the hoard of dragons surrounding that single large reddish one scattering rapidly away in a flutter of wings and chattered growls in different directions, it was almost beautiful. Her gaze went back to the now lone responsible dragon, humming lowly in wonder.

The Gentle Beast lowered his head marginally, only a small bit and it seemed like he was heavily gazing down at the now visible trembling female human being held gently but firmly by the reddish dragon who's head was lowered, eyes down in respect.

The two petrified light green eyes stared back in terrified fear for a few seconds, and then the look, sort of _changed?_

She saw how the female looked back shakily to the dragon holding her, and then back to the Gentle Beast, swallowed and slowly began descending to a knee, the dragon behind her allowing the movement with a flicker of his eyes and large horn like ears, the females head bowed but still her body trembled greatly.

The white dragon couldn't help it, she cooed lightly in rising respect and silent praise.

It wasn't every day, from what she remembered, that a human would react with the right etiquette when it came to dragons in this franchise. Especially with the way they're portrayed here.

A few seconds pass, which then she feels the Gentle Beast rumble again, only this time right afterwards she sees how he opens his giant mouth, the usual familiar cool breath passing by the air below right through the pair, shocking the human female into jumping back bumping into the now purring dragon behind her, her face staring in widened eyed and open mouth astonishment, tremulously touching her hair and grabbing at the white snow lightly patted there.

So, _that's _how she knew when she told her son in the movie. Huh, interesting.

Matter settled in her mind, she gracefully lowered her body back down, crossing her paws one over another and leaning her right side back where she was resting it before, placing down her head atop her paws; eyes glancing for one last time at the human, who coincidentally enough caught her glance and she saw how they widened again but closed her lids, not catching the rest of what happened as she felt the Gentle Beast move back to where he was resting before the whole ordeal, a soft warble came out of her throat, the slim hard edge of her tail lightly patting down; don't worry, we can both rest together.

And perhaps her thoughts won't go _too _dark this time.

* * *

She firmly put the subject at rest, wanting nothing to do with the woman and being absolutely _okay _with her decision.

Just because she was curious to know what was going on when the female arrived, does _not_, in _any _moment, mean that she wants to be buddy buddys with her.

Few days after the humans arrival, the dragon always with her became like a bodyguard (she secretly thinks its adorable), usually seen with her and teaching her everything in his own way, alongside the other more friendlier dragons. Others, like her, stayed away out of caution, but then with some more time passing also began warming up to the genuine gentle two legged female, until she became more or less rather well known within the dragons of this land. All the tricks and their ways she was learning due to living deep within this land began paying off in small but gradual achievements with every dragon she met and learned more about.

But _her? _She stayed to her schedule. No other being, _especially _a human (_she used to be a human, how bittersweet)_, would interrupt her time for her _Other. _Where she _needs _to pay her respects for them. Where she needs to _Remember _them, because if _she_ forgets, then what will she become?

She didn't want to think about it.

And so, the interruption in the form of two legs and stubbornness to match that of a dragon began.

At first official greeting, the human female introduced herself with her name and an honest warm smile when she approached while the slimmer white and light cream colored dragon was leisurely laying on the edge of a moss covered rock, tilted head atop crossed paws.

Azure and turquoise snapped open and pinned her with very thin pupil narrowed cat like eyes, no teeth showing because she was being _polite, _but a short growl of warning rose.

When the woman took a few careful steps back, she counted the steps of her feet with her furrowed eyes and nodded satisfied at the wide length of space between them. The woman halted at the nod and had a look of joy and befuddlement on her expressive features.

She didn't feel like staying here anymore, despite how childish it made her sound like.

Grumbling with a low warble, she only gave _Valka_ a glance through the corner of her turquoise eye before rolling herself off from the high placed giant rock backwards, feeling a slight spike of amusement when she heard the sharp gasp that followed, though not glancing back when she smacked her hind legs against the long length of rock near her, twirling in the air with wings tight against her body, then opening them swiftly, allowing the natural glide to move her forward, _away _from the human who she could feel still watching her.

Seeing those similar features had her remembering that she shouldn't be enjoying her time just _lazying _around. She needed... she needed to do _something _to be connected to her _Other._

Crooning quietly to herself, eyes stinging in what she knew were tears, the familiar form of the Gentle Beast appeared in her vision and her body drooped in relief, flapping harder to get there faster. Deftly landing without a sound in her usual spot behind some larger spikes on his right side of the head, a forlorn sound whined out of her, she could see their faces, but it was getting harder to remember the details and their _Colors_, and just-

Her body curled into itself, tucked behind the thick spike, minute trembles coming and going, stifling her mourning to herself.

She didn't know if she felt worse because she was _forgetting _them, or because her pain from _remembering_ them didn't feel as bad as when she first arrived here.

She didn't _know._

* * *

When the human began disappearing for a few days then reappearing with even _more _dragons, she thought to herself _No wonder there wasn't that many dragons here compared to in the movie._

Was it because the female was studying them and training with her dragon (that Cloud one), to be _able _to rescue them? She vaguely recalled from when she wasn't flying away from the human, the woman would be talking out loud mainly with her dragon, but also frequently with the others, and would practice difficult agile moves in the air and on the ground very often with the larger dragon.

So it was thanks to _Valka_ that there was so many in the future, because she rescued them apparently from where they were at before.. and from how some or most of them looked like when they arrived with the female, she could accurately guess as to what they went through.

It was safe to say that she stayed clear from all that the female human was doing, even though she felt a small pang of guilt whenever she thought of how she could help, but _no. _She's already deep in her _own _issues, she doesn't need to enter any more.

That doesn't mean she didn't try to make the dragons that were mentally scarred feel a bit more comfortable here with soothing sounds and gentle touches. However much she tried to do it as _far _from where the two legged one could see, she somehow always had a feeling that the human _knew _what she was doing, but feigned ignorance.

Grunting a sharp rebuff at the too rough push to her neck from the baby dragon beside her, the dark purple small pup whined at her from her reproach.

"Not too rough." She growled lowly, face smooth giving the female purple pup a warmer glance.

The dragon purred in apology, with more caution pushing her larger two curved horned head like a baby purple bull vying for attention over the side of her neck.

Huffing out through her nostrils, the warm puff of air pressing down abruptly against the younger dragon caused it to gleefully squeal out, shaking its head like a bird ruffling its feathers.

She cooed out, gently nudging the baby with the tip of her snout towards its mothers direction.

Its mother who was peacefully laying down not too far away, sometimes glancing to where her baby was, mostly just enjoying the peace. Considering how physically scarred the older lilac dragon was and how the baby was free from damage save one or two darker burns, you could tell she tried her _everything _to not allow anything to happen to the little one.

It vaguely reminded her of her own mother from the _Other._

"You don't need to, I know she's safe with you."

Which was saying a _lot, _with what she went though not too long ago. She tilted her head at the larger older dragon, edges of mouth tugged down the only change in expression.

"You shouldn't trust too easily", her tone wasn't demanding, just low and almost vulnerable. While yes, she would like to be trusted, it still makes her incredibly uncomfortable how easily the dragons trust changes. Sometimes she wondered if it was because they were more in-tuned with their instincts than herself, or if it was because of some other factor that she would either never know or find out because her soul used to be human.

But honestly, you'd expect dragons who have gone through so much cruelty to at least be more weary of the human female but no such case. It mystified her as much as it humbled her. They were ninety nine percent more noble than humans ever were.

The eyes of the other dragon softened, "I trust you more than you want to think."

What was _with _the dragons around her and their too trusting ways? Seriously.

She grunted, the only answer she could give to not offend.

The other larger female tittered in laughter at her response as the baby pup bumped its head one last time against her neck before beginning to hop away in a bird like fashion towards its mother who accepted her baby with a loud purr, large folded wings unfurling and folding over the excitable chirping baby, obstructing it from view.

While sometimes she was easily accepted into this circle of dragons, other times they wanted absolutely _nothing_ to do with her and her gentle but insistent care.

Which she understood one hundred percent.

It had naught to do with trust, they trusted her plenty, but had more to do with their mental state from the harsh and cruel ordeal they all went through.

Already she could see from the corner of her eye some restlessness forming in the vague outlines of dragons within the circle, fidgeting claws, short huffs of breaths, the first signs.

Calmly standing up, she hummed in her throat as she stretched her wings out one at a time, tail swishing lazily left and right. No need to show panic, especially to these types of dragons, it would only make them either more scared or accidentally attack.

She warbled warmly in response at the grunts and warbles half of the dragons voiced, dipping her head in farewell before turning back and trotting away to the edge of the cavern, jumping lightly on each of the oval pointed rocks that led to the edge, and swishing her tail deftly down as she jumped off the last rock. Giving her more lithe of the hop, allowing her to easily extend out her wings settling into a tilted sideways glide, smoothly leaving that area.

Even as she little by little helped with these dragons, that didn't mean she wanted to get _attached _to any of them. And that's how its going to _stay._

Despite the small warming of her heart each time she sees how they've improved since they arrived here, mentally _and _physically.

A loud amicable roar from behind had her flinching out of her thoughts, glancing to the front and seeing that there's nothing flying in front of her for long distance ahead, she dexterously twisted her body upside down, now facing the familiar large form of that Cloud dragon that's always with the female human-_ that was riding on his back and rapidly catching up to her with a wide elevated smile._

She was sure she had on the most _bewildered _expression seeing that.

Yes, she had seen the human female flying around many many times with mostly Cloud and sometimes other dragons, but this was a first to see the human _following _her.

And on _Cloud. _

That dragon was the most agile of the place, from what she could remember and has seen.

From beneath her she felt something bubbling up, her persistence and stubbornness rearing up with a sharp growl of challenge.

Her oval pupil eyes narrowed into slits and she showed a slight sight of teeth to them, uncaring how the females eyes narrowed thoughtfully or at Cloud's low warning growl of protectiveness before gracefully flipping back, slanted cat like eyes narrowed even more in concentration, she was going to _out fly __them._

Splitting her spines protruding from her vertebrae for better maneuverability, ears and nubs on her head lowered tightly against her head, and wings flapped quickly down, tips almost touching together as she descended her tail rapidly for more speed.

Zooming past above caves and foliage and nature formations in a cool blur, she didn't need to look back to _know _that Cloud was easily catching up by the sounds of wings ascending and descending with rapid motions.

Glancing to the sides of what she was passing, her narrowed eyes and mind calculated. If she can't _out fly _him at this moment, then she's going to _out maneuver _them.

Zipping past a corner cliff edge rapidly, she tucked her wings abruptly against her, the wind helping her descend harshly close to the cliffs wall before she opened one wing forming a seemingly out of control spiral, nimbly entering a dark hole that was larger inside than what it looked like on the outside due to the shadows outlining it, after a few seconds of flying through the hollow vertical pit, she came out from the other side and unfolded both wings into a level glide.

That hollow hole she had found a long while ago, and used it to sometimes test a few of her flight practices for more tighter and darker areas than complete open space. It was very convenient, and even though she wasn't the only one who used it, based on the scents of other dragons in there, she _was _the only one who used it for such practices. Plus, she can detect when its occupied or not by the scents inside.

Fortunately, there wasn't any dragon near by when she used the pit to disappear from their sights.

Peeking behind, she felt relief when she didn't see anything from the corner of her eyes.

Focusing back forward, she huffed out through her mouth.

Lately there were too many interruptions taking over her time of reflection for the _Other, _and she was conflicted on how she felt about that.

Sounds of tiny wings rapidly flapping reached her ears and she crooned warmly at the rather colorful mixture of around five to six baby pups now surrounding her smooth slow flying with their rapid winged one, the chattering of short words mixed with high growls and baby barks had her glancing to where their mother was, catching the serene amber eyes of a long shaped and short spiked red older female dragon flying not too far away, the faded old whip marks familiar.

_Ah. _She was one of the dragons from the first batch that Valka brought, the dimming scars and calm gliding evidence of how long it was.

Her eyes widened in sudden realization.

Turning her widened gawk back to the non stop chattering pups with no human marks on their rather young bodies flying around her.

And then back at the now amused amber hues of the older female, like she also understood what her widened stare meant and it brought great amusement to her.

_She had procreated!_

It was a bit surprising to know, considering everything they went through but also heartwarming to know each dragon was passing that stage and resuming their life in this peace.

_She ignored the tiny voice and oppressed feeling inside her whispering how she could also do that._

Sending out a short warble of joy at the older red dragon, she crooned when the other sent back a high bark of elation, reciprocating a nudge to one of the brightly red colored spiked pups that nudged her white cheek with its head.

Watching the pups chirping loudly and flying back to their mother with quick wing motions made her give them a rare high chirp as well, chuckling when their chirping and lively barking words got even _louder,_ vivacious chattering having their mother and her share an understanding glance that she knew couldn't be expressed with words.

One of the things she mused about being what she is _now, _is how incredibly expressive dragons are. If not their face, then their body language. They can speak in their own language, yes, however she always thought it was more amazing how easily you can understand them just based on those two.

Not mentioning how much she has tried to not easily _show_ what she feels, attempting to train her face and body to _not _reveal what she experiences inwardly has been difficult but is still in the process.

Like now, hearing that _voice_ of the human yelling at her to _Wait _from behind.

As if she were a puppy learning to heel.

Ears flopped back, an annoyed growl escaped her throat, lips pulled back to reveal her teeth in a silent snarl.

_Still in the process, still in the process._

* * *

Thank you readers for the favs/folls!

_Aurora9871: _Thank you for the review! Glad you like the story so far!

Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, a bit more insight on those first two years.

**Timeline: **

-Our MC was a dragon pup of six months when she awoke in this franchise.

-A year passes by as she assimilates herself (or tries to) in her new body/world.

-Valka arrives. MC is a year and six months old.

-Two years pass by, Valka tries to befriend MC during this time.

-Present: MC is three years old now. (physically)


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: **Angst at beginning (may be triggering to some), lighter afterwards.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Snapping eyes wide abruptly, oval pupils slit from the uneasy restless sleep and-

Roaring keening broke from her already aching throat (was she already screaming in her sleep?), huffing harshly in and out through her nostrils and open snout, teeth unsheathed and bared in the dark cave the morning light from the opening of the cave casting small beams of warm rays across her panting tense body that she could feel quickly disappearing under the quivering rapidly taking over her sweating cold self.

_Why..._

Why _Now?!_

She vaguely felt how her expression was numbly stuck, sight blurring immediately upon awakening, absently feeling the sensation of something dripping down non stop her cheeks and plopping with no sound to the ground she was gazing at blankly with wide terrified eyes.

She could _See _them, but she- _she can't-_

Roughly striking her sharp clawed paw against her head, a wail caught in her throat from the overload of emotions mentally and physically as the force of it made her head snap to the side- but she could _still see them yet-_

_No no no NO!_

Why _now, _please god no, no no not _Now!_

But, didn't she _Want _to remember them?

Then- Then why _does it hurt so fucking much?!_

Bumping her forehead hard against the wall in front of her, she could only pant unsteadily at the sharp images too rapidly shifting inside inside and _would not stop-_

Leaning back, she rammed her forehead harder against the stone wall, feeling the tiny rumble it gave from the strength of it but only managing to breath in and out shakily, not even knowing her body wasn't stopping its tremors or that her wide wet horrified eyes were blankly staring down.

But shes not _there, she could See them but she couldn't Be with them, they were Right there! Right... right There.._

_Oh god no no, please no!_

A keening sound of wretched miserable warbled out from her trembling snout, attempting to shift with the intention of smacking her throbbing head against the solid wall again, barely taking a step before her whole body wobbled and gave out from her. She couldn't pay attention to the harsh meet she numbly had with the cool rock floor, nor how her head banged callously against the floor laying there, trying to just- _Breath. _

_Can't they See her? She's right Here! She's Here! Turn around! _

Unseeing eyes stared blankly ahead at the darkness of the cave, sharp images one by one crossing the other out, another taking its place and- _and she could Remember- _

Cringing her eyes shut uncomfortably tightly, a warble of stifled pain mixed with a snarl left her closed mouth, edges of mouth lifting up instinctively.

Lifting her head up weakly, she was able to tap her head against the ground.

Why.

Lifting it again, smacking it a little harsher down, ignoring the slowly rising soreness.

_Why?_

Their colors were brighter than she had ever seen and their happiness, their smiles at her-

_Their tears, their suffering, their hands reaching for her when it was Her fault she-_

Stumbling to her paws she leaned heavily against the wall, shakily taking in air, slight fog appearing with an exhale, dissipating with an inhale.

She- she needed to, she gulped down another desolate sob with her upmost will, Why why_ Why!_

_Wasn't this what she wanted?_

Rising her head slowly, unfocused sight scarcely made out the light from the opening of the tunnel, some warm rays touching her abnormally cold body from the shifts of the tiny waterfall.

_She always wanted to remember them._

Unknowing the despairing heartbroken expression on her face, how her pupils stayed slit because of her current chaotic grim mental state and her cringing features wet with trails of non stop hot tears refilling her wide eyes every few seconds.

_She Wants to remember them!_

Step by step..

The only sound in the cavern her unsteady breathing as she came closer, with pauses resting tiredly against the wall.

_But not- not like This._

Staring straight ahead blankly at the thin sheath of clear cold water running downwards in front of her, almost seeing herself in the reflective liquid but not enough to be seen _fully._

The features she used to have, so alike her mom in that aspect-

A sudden burst of sorrow hit her rapidly beating heart abruptly again from the images of her panicking mom sobbing for her while tightly clenching her desensitized hand and she felt so sad for her _because_ _mom I can't feel your hand anymore, I'm sorry._

Bursting through the cold water, with images appearing rapidly through her mind she could barely see ahead, tumbling down with weak flapping wings on the green grass in front of the mini waterfall hole, landing gracelessly and barely managing to stay standing on her feet, ignoring the dripping water over her cool body.

But she didn't shift her head up, leaving it bowled down eyes wide but unseeing.

_Dad was talking to her but she couldn't hear him anymore and she could see in his painful expression that he knew, he knew what was going to happen and turned his head away, he never really Could stand to see his children hurt, but dad please, please don't turn away, not Now. Not Now._

Please stop. _Please_ _Stop!_

The painful throbbing of her heart was the only thing she could hear inside her head, her ears tightly pressed down against her head unknowingly making the throbbing pain worse at the increasing tension surrounding her.

Not hearing in her state the curious and worried calling warble of a young green and yellow female dragon that was lightly resting atop the smooth long rock close by the edge of that grassy lane, spiky oval ears perking up at the highly tensed and emotionally distressed trembling dragon that stumbled out of her cave looking sickly and reeking of deep misery.

_Not like this-_

Dragging her head down she laid her forehead down on the grass, pressing down hard and keeping herself barely steady with her slightly weak arms holding her up.

_How she had shut the front door on her younger sisters as she left, their crying faces imprinted in her mind. They didn't want her to go to work that day, her last hug to both of them, too tight and too emotional and was that her unconscious goodbye to them? _

Sobbing out loud she raised her head swiftly, shook it roughly and began running rapidly to the edge, absentmindedly hearing a distant high pitched bark of surprise but it was nothing, nothing.

_Nothing._

She thought as her wings weakly flapped, unsteadily wavering to the sides as she took to the air and _she was so cold but she was colder before, what does it matter?_

In the back of her strangely numb mind, she could feel her body instinctively going somewhere but at the moment she had no idea where she was going.

_She's so sorry. _

_She's _so so _sorry. _

_Why did she wish to remember all that?_

She was better off dead than living with the memories of her _Before._

Where was the happiness in knowing she won't ever see or feel her loved ones again? Where was the relief that she should have felt from remembering? Why was only her more clear memories coming from before her death?

_Be careful what you wish for._

Closing her eyes in a grim expression, she absentmindedly recognized that she was flying above a water source.

It didn't help keep the images away from her mind when she closed her eyes, but she felt so _worn out. _

Aches all over her cold body, head throbbing intensely, heart and chest hurting too much it almost stung to breath, and body feeling unusually numb.

_Maybe water will refresh me?_

She was using an excuse and she knew it, but she didn't care.

_She didn't care anymore._

Allowing her wings to stop flapping their feeble attempts at the pathetic flying, with nothing to hold her weight in the air her body began dropping at a slow then rapidly picking up speed plunge, whips of sharp wind smacking against her body going down _down._

She clenched her jaw tight in pain when her back hit the water with a rough brutal plummet into the cold lake, the strong gravity that was having her descend making her sink even more against the normal volume of this lake.

Opening her eyes heavily, now watching clearly the brightness of the shifting disturbed waves above her that she made.

A hush surrounded her as she stayed gazing up, almost serenely eerie floating steadily down.

_She was so tired. Of being Here. Of not dying when she had to. Of not knowing who she is anymore. Of feeling her deaths repercussions over and over again with the memories playing over and over again. _

_Did she do this to herself?_

She only wanted to keep the little piece that made her _her, _the only connection she had to who she was, to what she loved, to who she loved.

_But no matter how much she tries, nothing is going to change._

She won't be with her family anymore.

_She's not Her anymore._

Her non stop hot tears disappeared in the water and she could barely feel her body now, the images still clear in her fragile mind but she was trying to focus on above her, how the shaking waves gently began smoothing out on the surface.

The need to breath eventually ruled in after a few minutes, she blankly noticed the sting for the need to breath.

Keeping her head raised to the waves above, her lids gradually lowered to close to the rather peaceful view in contrast to her tumultuous mental state, and in resignation opened her snout allowing the cold water to enter at an increasing alarming rate.

She coughed unconsciously, her body's attempt to live still striving in the body despite the mind steadily shutting down. Not that it helped in any way, and she only prayed it would end quick.

Sensitive hearing even underwater picked up a giant splash sounding from a bit of distance above her, she didn't want to open her eyes, _please no no, just let it Be._

_This will be better._

The clear images from before of her other life were slowly fading to a grey black, _and she shouldn't be so relieved that they weren't popping consistently in her head now. _

But she was, because she wasn't ever going back to her before life, no matter how much she wanted to.

So, _so tired. _

Of wishing, of hoping, of praying. Of trying for a useless notion.

Vaguely feeling being tugged harshly, despite everything her last thought was a feeble curse at the being moving her upwards.

And then she blacked before she hit the surface.

* * *

Coughing harshly out the cold water in her lungs, she kept on coughing for a few seconds, not even registering she wasn't alone as she rolled to her side trying to balance herself while keeping her head lowered, ears weakly laying on her head and wings hanging flat low to the ground.

Her body trembled from the nerves of being revived from such an experience, and she tried to steady her breathing little by little eyes half lid gazing down at the grass beneath her now wet because of her throwing up all the water.

_She was alive._

Apparently she wasn't alone, and the sudden roll of thunder (_oh wait, that's a growl,_ she absentmindedly noticed) made her flinch, head slightly raising and trying to focus on the- _oh wow he looks Pissed._

On the low hissing stiff puffed up form of Cloud, almost hovering over her in a threatening manner, and honestly she was so out of it her instincts were taking a backseat as she only gazed up at him instead of reacting in any way at the action, seeing from her peripheral view Valka sitting on her knees at a bit of distance from them while ringing her hands together in a worried fashion on her lap, wide eyes thoughtfully with worry gazing at both of them, getting somewhat the conversation occurring. She felt first she should leave the incredibly difficult stubborn female dragon to Cloudjumper, who looked very intimidating at this moment glaring down the smaller dragon.

"_What _were you thinking?" Despite looking like a pissed off wet giant owl, he still managed to sound composed (except for that underling tone of tension and anger).

_She felt spent._

Blinking slowly, she turned her head back to stare at the grass in front of her.

She thought she'd be dead by now.

What does she do _now?_

A sharp nip on her shoulder blade had her yipping in pain, a growl of instinct rising up even though it was pretty weak sounding, similar to a malnourished puppy.

Turning her head back with a half-hearted glare she swallowed a little, "What do you want me to say Cloud?" Even to her, it sounded a bit lifeless.

His perceptive amber eyes narrowed, "I don't want you to say what I want to hear", his tone gentled and he laid down beside her, tilting his head closer to her, "I want to know what's wrong with you-"

Low snort, "You want a list?"

He ignored her and resumed as if she didn't interrupt him, "-Why you would choose to do such an action. Decide such a thing."

She steadily ignored him, iron will at its best in its worst moments. Her trembling had ceased by now into just minute tremors.

_Perhaps she got more stubborn now as a dragon._

What startled her the most and made her freeze up completely was when Valka slowly stood up, walked to her side, sat down beside her (she didn't spare the human a glance, and Valka didn't try to touch her in any way), and just stared at her for a few seconds in a thoughtful silence, Cloud falling silent at her appearance sitting in between both dragons.

Valka was apparently waiting for the moment when the female dragon would glance to her, because the human kept her gaze locked onto hers in an upmost gentle way that had her heart beating painfully in her chest.

"Are you okay?"

...

Just those soft whispered words and-

Her view became suspiciously blurry, clearing before blurring again and she felt the hot trail they made down her scrunched up features, trying to not fall apart but- those words, that tone, _she didn't know why it affected her so much._

And she fell apart.

A gut-wrenching whine came out of her sore throat involuntarily, uncaring that she lowered her head in a soft thud to Valka's chest, not focusing on the startled and astonished jump both the larger dragon and rider had at her willingness to _touch_ Valka, but the human quickly overcame her sudden bout of apprehension at the females reaction, hesitantly lowering her hands to gently touch the females back head, waiting for a few seconds to see if she noticed and would allow it but by the hot tears flowing down Valka's shirt and the loud painful-even-to-her-heart sobs, seems Shya didn't even care at the moment.

So Valka gently began patting and rubbing Shya on the back of her head and side neck. (You couldn't blame her for being nervous at the sudden reaction of the female dragon, after all, this _was _the most difficult dragon Valka had dealt with in the few years shes been living with dragons. Not Once had this female dragon allowed her to touch her, not even be Near her. She's even been slightly hostile, if not outright aggressive when it came to voicing her dislike and aversion to the human female.) Whatever comfort she could give the currently suffering female dragon, even if afterwards she still wants to avoid Valka, that's fine by her, she never intended to give up anyway.

After a few minutes, her breathing steadied out from the long hall of crying she did, but what does she do with those images? Those _memories? _

"I don't want to remember anymore," She mumbled with wet eyes tightly clenched shut, another tear falling down joining the trail.

Few seconds of tense silence in which she doesn't move from her spot, nor do any of them say anything against it so she stays where she is, feeling her cool body ever so slightly prickle, warming back up from Cloud's close proximity and Valka's furry clothes.

"Remember what?" Cloud tilted his head back down, saying the words with a gentle baritone rumble.

Few seconds of tentative silence.

Whining deep low in her throat, "_My past." _She whispered almost non audibly, Cloud's ears twitching at the desolate melancholic sound of the words but she didn't see how he stared even more intently than before, nor how the human female faltered a bit at the painful sound but resumed her tender ministrations.

The kindhearted patting and touching from the human only made her eyes continue to water, _why was she so kind to her? _

_Even after the way she treated her for so long?_

Raising her head slightly, then lowering it with a soft thump back to Valka's chest.

_Too kind and stubborn human._

"...Sometimes there's no other choice but to continue on." The voice of the woman beneath her head sympathetically said with a forlorn undertone to the unusually lax dragon resting it's forehead against her chest.

She gulped down her throat, feeling the rasp and briefly pondering that could the human now understand their words?

But the thought went away as soon as it appeared, replaced by the flash of her mothers indecipherable warm sounding comfort.

"We can only...live with it."

_But how? When everything she Was is disappearing at the harsh reality that she's never going to be Her again? Nor see her loving ones again?_

She didn't say the word's but the stifled whimper had her biting down and clenching her aching jaw shut.

Which translated the emotion just as well, if the way Cloud's low consolation purr increased in volume resonating in the close air between them and Valka's tilt of the head to rest against the side of her head showed that.

"...We find something to live for. Our past doesn't.. and _shouldn't _define us...only helps us in our present."

The humans grim tone indicated that this wasn't the first time she's thought or uttered those words, _maybe to herself?_

She closed her half lidded bleary eyes, unknowing when she had opened them.

_Those are wise and true words._

Clear flashes of their smiles, their tears.

_But it always sounds so much easier._

"You're not alone, Shya." Valka whispered, eyes watering from how much heartache she could feel and hear the female dragon was feeling, Cloudjumper giving a low croon of agreement.

Valka could understand from the warbles and painful sounding weeping the words behind them, and the meaning behind each hot tears falling and wetting her front (she cared little for it, more concentrated on giving what little comfort she could to the mentally tortured female dragon.)

"There's so much beauty in this world and I wish you could see that. Even with how cruel some things are, _we live. You're alive. _If we only focus on the negative of things, then we can't exactly call that life, now can we?" The female woman had always told herself so many comforts, Cloud helping whenever she would get too down over her situation at first, and now she feels as if maybe Shya is going through something similar despite their difference in species. Valka could understand dragons better than most however, so she easily sympathized with the female dragon, her heart thumping fast and hard in pain as well.

Her heart was easing from its throbbing aching, and although the images were still clear, she could breathe a little steadier.

Slanting her sensitive eyes open slightly.

...

She didn't respond verbally, swallowing again. Clenching her eyes shut and allowing the last of her hot tears to flow down onto Valka's now wet front.

_What Can I do?_

_...Maybe she's..right. _

_If I could live with the thought that even though I'm alive, I'm not Me anymore... but I don't Have to be that person...that person died. And I live. And I can't ever be with Them, and They can't ever be with me._

_It's the reality that's never going to change._

_And I have to live with it._

_But.. but I don't have to suffer my whole life with that fact. _

_I don't Want to..._

Exhaling shakily out, lids slowly raised to show misty azure and turquoise staring hard down before with some hesitance she backed her head away from Valka's chest, the human letting her hands fall away to her lap with no resistance staring with warm worried green orbs at the female dragon not raising her head from where it stared stiffly at the grass below her, Cloudjumper falling silent only his low purr a distant sound in the background.

She peeked her eyes up to Valka's, wanting to shift them away immediately but forcing herself to stay in contact, _baby steps._

Valka tilted her head a tiny bit in question, the mannerisms of dragons seems to be sticking to her she thought in the back of her now sort of still mind.

Parting her snout, she only breathed out for a few seconds.

"_My name is Asena_." Her voice came out as a low warble, definite in her decision while staring at the wide eyed look in both eyes, Cloud's purr stuttering to a halt and she would have laughed if this were any other situation. Valka's open mouth incredulity changed as soon as Asena's ears flickered back slightly. The woman shifted her features to a more calmer sort, though still having an air of small awe and appreciative, green orbs turning warmer and open mouth closing into a small genuine smile. Cloud tilted his head lower, warbling a gentle sound.

_Her name may have been a part of the stabbing images, but it was the last part of her that she identified as._

_The only thing she still had._

She lifted her head a bit more from its lowered position, letting her head gently tilt to the side while still pensively eyeing the completely serene woman just sitting on her knees with her hands on her lap, Cloud's low comforting purr a background comfort she thoughtlessly relaxed to, her body slumping in exhaustion from her mental stress ever since she woke up to the nightmare that gave her back the more clear memories that were the closest to her demise from her world.

_And now that she had what she's wanted ever since she first came here, she now has to live with it._

White ears fluttered slightly to a half rise at Valka's patient sounding voice, "Nice to meet you Asena. My name is Valka, It's good to finally meet you."

Her smile grew with affection for the staring musing female dragon that had successfully evaded her since she arrived, the _first_ time being so close to her and she felt an inkling deep within to touch her velvety like smooth scales again but she kept her hands firmly where they were in her lap. Just because the white cream colored dragon had allowed her to comfort her awhile ago, did not mean she would overstep until she's _sure _the smaller dragon would permit it without this grim situation over their heads.

As it is, Asena could only stare because _after all these years, this woman's never given up on attempting to win her over has she?_

Giving out only a huff of incredulous curt chuckle, her features softened a bit from her stiff pensive expression, dipping her head slightly to a small greeting nod.

And she gave a small croon full of grateful tones, the soft sound mixing with Cloud's baritone purr as Valka let her small smile turn into an radiant wide grin, eyes crinkling from its broadness.

_Baby steps._


End file.
